Really Part 12, the other part 12 was really part 11

She set out in the early dawn. The air was not yet cool - she doubted it ever became cool here - but it lacked the intensity of the days heat. She knew well that this was a short respite and that once the sun topped trees, the heat would rise again.

Her pack was lighter. She'd shed some of her burden the night before, by purging the items she never used, but kept for memories sake. She no longer felt the need for these ties - perhaps they had been tying her down, rather than grounding her as she'd hoped.

Her step felt lighter, too. She was unsure of where to go next, but thought that if she just took the first train out of town, it would take her the right way.

She arrived at the bus station and looked around. It was much smaller than the one in the city, and therefore less chaotic. Only two counters existed for tickets. She looked at both, and then eenie-meenied for her choice. Making her way over, she stepped around the usual assortment of dogs and parcels.

She stopped suddenly. Her heart lurched in her chest and a curious sick feeling spread through her limbs, emmanating from her stomach. She felt the panicky urge to bolt, but was rooted to the spot in the same instant.

Picking up his ticket and change from the counter was Jason. One more second and he'd turn around. He'd have to make eye contact, he couldn't help but see her.

His eyes opened wide in shock as he saw her. She stared back, unsure of what look her face was expressing. He went pale, then red. He put his head down and pushed forward into the crowd, trying to avoid her, pretend he hadn't seen her.

"Jason, please!" she called out to him. He paused, but wouldn't turn to face her. "Jason" she paused. What could she say? "I'm sorry. I never meant..."

He turned around, eyes brimming with tears, face struggling to remain neutral.

"Can we talk?"

"What is there to say?" Another pause.

What was there to say? What could happen? His plane left in two days and she knew she wasn't going with him; her path did not lead to Japan.

"I don't know." She felt at a loss. Seeing him so hurt, so angry, so distant, she longed to hug him, to hold him to her.

Watching her face crumble weakened his resolve to stay strong, angry, cold. "Maggie" he said softly. She looked up to see him crying quietly and the tears she'd been forcing back crept out and slid down her cheeks.

A short while later, they sat in a small cafe, sipping smoothies and avoiding eye contact. Neither knew what to say, where to go from here. Being together had always been so effortless and now there was a huge gap, an awkwardness between them. She wondered if this was how it would always be now, if they'd ruined the natural chemistry by their respective flights.

Jason took a deep breath, as though about to say something, but remained silent. He shifted in his seat and seemed about to start again. Again he didn't speak. The third time, Maggie jumped in.

"Jason, you can just say it. I won't run this time." She smiled, hoping to encourage him. He shifted in his seat again and took a fourth deep breath.

"Ok. Maggie, why did you run away at the restaurant? When I looked up and you were gone..."

"I'm sorry. I was just..." she stopped.

"I thought you felt the same way. I'd never have said..."

"I did. I do, I mean, I." She stopped again.

"Maggie, I fell in love with you. I know it's fast, and it might seem stupid, but it's true. I love being with you, I love how you make me feel. I love the way you notice tiny details like dew on a spiders web. Everything about you makes me want to grab you and hug you and kiss you. And when you ran off... " he tailed off.

"You ran off, too."

"I was too embarassed to face you. I was...well, I was a chickenshit. And I thought that's what you would want. But why did you run off?"

"I panicked. Pure and simple. I was having these feelings for you that scared me, and when you said that we should live together in another country I just...I was overwhelmed. I didn't know what to feel. Part of me wanted to say yes, and ride off into the sunset with you, but then I felt so afraid of the uncertainty of it all. I was afraid of things happening all over again."

"So instead of telling me this, you ran away."

"I needed air. I needed to think."

"I could have given you time. But you took off."

"I'm sorry, Jason. I was completely absorbed in my own panic. I didn't stop to think about what it would do to you. It was selfish and cruel, and I regret it very much." She looked at him intently, but he looked away.